How to Live a Miserable Life

I recently read a book called Poor Charlie's Almanack which is a compilation of some of the speeches of Charlie Munger- Warren Buffet's partner in Berkshire Hathaway. He gave a talk to a high school graduation class in the Los Angeles area about "How to Live a Miserable Life." He figured that this would carry the attention of high school students longer than the standard "How to be Successful in Life" speech.

I wrote to my 2-year old son a similar essay on how to be miserable after meditation on the opposite of the qualities espoused in Galatians 5:22-24. So in the spirit of Munger's speech and CS Lewis' Screwtape Letters, I submit to you eight keys to living a miserable life:

1. Practice bitterness. Remind yourself daily of the ways in life that you have been screwed. Life is unfair and has treated you poorly, so you should constantly dwell on that.

2. Complain about everything. Be sure to let others know that you aren't going to sit back and allow the troubles of life to go unnoticed.

3. Envy. Seek contentment in stuff, sex and status. Everyone does it, you might as well join the crowd.

4. Don't wait. You deserve the good things in life whenever you desire them. If you want something, have it now at any cost.

5. Be unreliable. Flakiness is a charming quality. You will be sure to endear yourself to family, friends and co-workers if you are consistently unreliable.

6. Be self-absorbed. The world revolves around you. Make sure you run over anyone who gets in the way between you and what you desire.

7. Lie. Say whatever you gets you ahead. Don't worry about telling the truth. Tell the truth only if it is to your advantage.

8. Indulge. You have one life to live. You might as well eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you die. If it feels good, do it.

If you are faithful to practice these eight things, you will be virtually guaranteed to live a miserable life filled with regret and lack of purpose. I can testify from personal experience that I have at times practiced the qualities listed above and have found them to be a great way towards the goal of misery. In the words of a U2 song, "The sweeter the sin, the bitter the taste in my mouth." Sadly, as I view the pursuits of many people, I conclude that misery seeking is very much in vogue.

I pray that we all find a better path- Galatians 5:22-23.

For God's Glory,

Ashley Hodge